The collected writings of Bob Giddings

Gotta Love That Old Camp Cookin'

4/29/03

Lake Whitney again

I've been traveling and eating out too much. As a result my fridge is full of stuff about to turn on me. I found myself hungry after a long walk (why do I even bother?), so I had a good look in there. I'm not sure what to call what I came up with. It's obviously some kind of stir fry, but the Chinese don't usually fool around with oregano and olive oil. In honor of my retirement, I thought about calling it Freedom Fry, but it sounds so goofy Congress has already claimed it.

So I guess it's just Salvage Fry, unless you can think of something better. Be kind. It turned out pretty darned good.

Here's my recipe, gratis. First, carefully open the door to the fridge and sniff. If nothing knocks you down, proceed. If you fall on the floor, proceed anyway. Be a Marine, fer chrissakes. Get yourself back up and seal the unit with duct tape for later industrial disposal.

What do you mean you don't have duct tape? You can't cook without duct tape!

Assuming all goes well, collect everything that is about to go bad. Discard whatever has already turned the corner. If necessary, make a trip to the dumpster. It will improve your appetite.

Have a care with your selection. The author will not be responsible for unfortunate errors involving trips to the emergency room.

In my case there were 4 ears of corn, a quarter pound of deli ham (sliced thin), half a red onion, a half pound of once fresh asparagi, and a potato. The potato wasn't so bad, so I put it back. If your selection differs, just insert the relevant garbage in the following instructions.

Now, dribble some olive oil in a cast iron skillet. Cut the corn from the cobs into the skillet. Discard the cobs, unless you are ambitious. Next, slice up the ham, red onion, and asparagi, and add them to the growing pile. Add oregano and black pepper to taste. Put the skillet over medium heat and stir this mess around until the asparagi start to get soft. I mean from cooking, not the bacterial decay. You are now done. Pour it all on a paper plate. Really. If you were particular about china, you would not have read this far.

To go with this I tried to make some of Don Lampson's famous skillet toast, but the combination of butter and residual olive oil gave it a wangy taste, and you can tell how finicky I am. Your luck may be better.

For dessert I recommend a second glass of cabernet, a small campfire in the twilight, and a view across Lake Whitney. That's what I'm having.

But then I'd recommend this even if you were cooking.

Bon Appetit.

Bob

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